Saturday, February 15, 2014
When The Going Gets Tough
Gurudev, it is said that wisdom is to have a smile on your face even in bad times. Should I put on a fake smile? I don't feel very good when I do this.
Sri Sri: There is a proverb in America which says, ‘Fake it till you make it’.
When in difficult times, you experience pain. I am not saying you should never express the pain that you are experiencing, and fake it with a smile, no! If you feel there is a problem and if you feel like crying, cry, but snap out of it.
What makes you snap out of it is knowledge. What does knowledge do? It brings back the smile.
I want to tell you an incident. A lady had lost her teenage daughter and she was in a lot of pain. But with the help of knowledge, she could get over the pain.
Then she started going to parties, but it was pinching her. She was feeling guilty, ’I am smiling. How can I simply smile when my daughter has died just a month ago?’
With the help of knowledge, she realized that anyway she had to go, so she went; she was sick and she died. But now when she smiled she felt guilty. She didn’t feel any pain anymore for the death of her daughter, and for that she felt guilty. I have seen many people like this.
A lady who had lost her husband six months ago felt vey guilty for wearing nice dresses. She thought, 'What will people think?'
She felt like wearing, but she didn’t wear. She felt like going for a movie, but couldn’t go because what would people think?
This is where I say, drop all these hesitations and listen to your heart. With knowledge you will be able to smile, and it comes to you naturally.
This is the wisdom, i.e., everybody one day is going to die. I am going to die and you are going to die. Everybody will die. That inner strength and conviction (that comes to you when you realize this) will bring back the smile. When smile comes, don’t say, ‘Oh I shouldn’t be smiling!’
Wisdom is something that brings the natural smile within you even in tough times.
When everything appears to be falling apart, why should you lose your smile?
In everybody's life this happens. Some things that you like happens, some things you don’t like happens. This is part of life. When such things happen, why do you have to blame yourself and get bogged down?
Wisdom gives you the strength to smile even in tough times, and that is a real smile.
Everybody anyway smiles when everything is fine. What is the great thing about it? A baby smiles when there is no pain, but an adult can smile even when there is little pain.
This person came smiling to me and said, ‘Oh my leg is hurting so much!’ Her words and her expression did not match. She didn’t say with a crying face, ‘Oh it is hurting! It is hurting!’ No. She was smiling and saying, ‘Oh, it is hurting. I cannot sit. My leg is twisted.’
So I said, apply shakti drops and see. In 2 minutes it was 60% gone!
How is it when the same thing happens to a baby, or a small child? A baby will still smile, but an adolescent will say, ‘Oh it is paining!’ with a long face. There is no wisdom. Wisdom is important in everybody’s life. It is wisdom that uplifts you. It is wisdom that makes you smile even in very tough times.
What should I do if I have a tendency of going into depression?
Sri Sri: First of all, don’t label yourself as, 'I have a tendency of getting depressed', no! Remove this label and throw it out of the window.
The mind is not solid, it is airy. Mind is like the space. Sensations come and go, some vibrations come and they go. They disappear. Depression is nothing but an electrical sensation in some part of the brain. To counter that, sing, dance, and serve. Don’t sit and think about yourself all the time.
There is a mantra to get depressed. Do you what that is? There is a great technique I can tell you on how you can get depressed. Anybody can get depressed with this mantra.
Just sit and think, ‘What about me? What about me? What about me?’
If you don't want to be depressed, instead of thinking, ‘What about me?’ See what is it that you can do, how you can blossom, how can you express the rest of your life.
Never mind all the mistakes you did in the past. Whatever mistakes you have done, you have learnt some lessons from them. There is no point in regretting this moment for the last moment which is already gone. Resolve right now, 'This moment I am innocent, I am pure, I am part of the light, I am love', and think what you can do in the next moment.
So, you have to pull yourself up again and again, to see (keep your attention on) the future. Depression is always thinking about the past and then fearing the future.
Spiritual knowledge is that which gives you the strength for the future, 'Nothing to worry, only the best can happen to me because my heart is clean, and my mind is clear'.
Two things you need to have in life, a clean heart and a clear mind. That’s it. We have come to this planet with this. We have all experienced this. We were born with this. Somewhere along the way we put all this mud into our mind. Just wash it off. For washing it off you have two techniques, 'So Hum', and, 'So what!' And its gone with the wind! This is beautiful.
This is something we all have to do: be creative. Not everybody has written the creative note (referring to a process in the course).
Someone wrote about a glass. The glass hits the ground setting the water free, free from shape. So beautiful! A glass broke and the water fell and that was written in such a nice manner. This can have many philosophical meanings. The glass is our body, when it hits the ground, i.e., when you are under the ground, the spirit is free. It has no shape, but it is there.
Then someone wrote about a wave. A wave is drawn out of the stillness of the ocean. It has its ups and downs, and again settles down into the stillness of the ocean. Like our life comes from stillness into ups and downs, and settles back into stillness. So let’s surf through the wave of live into stillness.
Another person wrote about a foggy glass in an old window. Rain fell drop by drop, cleaning the view. A thunder hit it and it broke in a thousand pieces. You are my thunder, you are my rain. I am the glass, you melt my heart into pieces. Now your light is falling on me reflecting yourself in a thousand directions. Where are you? I am looking for you for so many lifetimes. Where are you? Please come to me. Following in the dim moon light, I am waiting for you.
When one idea is given see how your mind works to bring about something very creative. People who are in pain, who are suffering, they should write. They can write excellent books, poems, and novels.
Like a napkin wipes away the dirt and grease from the hands, The Art of Living breathing techniques wipes away the stress of daily life and leaves you light as a feather.
How can I express the royalty in your glance?
How can I express the majesty of your smile?
How can I express the wisdom of your presence?
You are so beautiful! So powerful!
How can I express the longing to be with you, to be held in your arms!
Fire, fire! The heart is on fire!
The smile I wear will never tire,
Fire fire! Burn my desire,
Until nothingness shall transpire!
Fire, fire! Ignite my being,
So the happiness and joy could be felt, heard and seen.
Everyone of you has talents I tell you. Never mind what comes out, just write. There are many who will read them later.
We will compile all this, put them all together.
I tell you in this room we have so many talents. Many are being expressed, and many are covered. This is a place where all the talents should come out. We should express our talents. Some are very good cooks, some are excellent singers. Some are good poets, some write very nice articles. Some can smile very nicely. Some can greet people so nicely. We have all these different abilities. Life is all about expression.
Why do people cheat? Is it because they don't love their spouse?
Sri Sri: No! Not everybody who loves cheats, but anyone who cheats, it is because they love their wife or husband very much.
Do you know why? If there is a fight between truth and love, love will win, truth will fail. Cheating means what? Telling lies. Why does a husband lie to his wife? Because he is afraid he might lose the love of his wife. So, because of the fear of losing love, he tells lies.
If the husband or wife assures them, ‘Come on, whatever you do, I accept you as you are. Just tell me the truth. If you have any weaknesses, I will forgive you. In spite of your weaknesses, I am going to love you the same'. If this assurance is given, they will tell the truth.
Why is it that nobody cheats on a mother? Because you know that mother’s love is not going to change. So you go and tell your mother. You don’t want to tell your wife, why? If you tell her, she may not take it easily. She may stop loving you. The same is with the husband too.
You will go and confess to your father because you know that you father will scold you, or shout at you, and then tomorrow your father will accept you. But a husband?
Someone can even confess to their son, but with the husband there is a little fear. What is that fear? May be I will lose their love.
It is deep inside. It is a psychological fear. The fear of losing love is more than telling the truth.
Create that space for your spouse, ‘Look, whatever you have done, tell me and I will understand you, accept you and I am with you’.
There are many couples who share all their mistakes very honestly, and they still love each other. There they don’t cheat. They simply tell their weaknesses and wrong doings. But if they hide something, it is only because they fear of losing (the love of their spouse). So, just know this. If there is a competition between love and truth, truth is going to lose. Got it?
I love my soul mate so much, that I fear that it does not leave much room for me to love the Divine.
Sri Sri: I have no experience of a soul mate.
Why not? I don’t think there is any hindrance. If you have a soul mate, and you found some new love, you can as well see that as a gift to you.
Your friends are a gift, your partner is a gift to you. Honor them rather than utilizing them.
In life there are two position you take. Whatever you get, either you make use of it; that is your selfishness. Or you be useful towards it (or them) and be grateful; this shows your expanded level of awareness. This shows that your consciousness is now matured. You are matured. You are not just making use of somebody but you are trying to be useful towards them.