The Power Of Self Reflection

08/26/2016 Bangalore, India

Gurudev, when I see enthusiastic people, what comes to my mind is that they are showing off. What do you think?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: 

Why do you want to judge them? Let them do what they want to do. It seems that you have too much time on your hands. Do not judge them. If they show off, let them show off. They have something to show off, let them be. If you have something to show off, then you also show off (Laughter). If you do not want to, then simply don’t show off.
Why should someone showing off irritate you? Do you understand what I am saying? See, it is all a game. If someone wants to show off, let them be. If they show off too much, then they themselves will lose their charm. You should think more about yourself and reflect on - how much more natural have you become? Have you become more practical, more wise? Reflect on this instead.

Gurudev, in the Bhagavad Gita Lord Krishna says, “Sarva-sankalpa parityagi”. What does it mean?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: 

When you are about to go to sleep, and if you keep thinking “I have to do this, I have to do that”, then will you be able to get restful sleep? What do you do when you sleep? You keep everything aside. Only then will you are able to get sleep. There is a deeper meaning in this verse. Yoga will not happen until the mind is stuck in feverish thoughts like 'I want this' or 'I have to do this' or 'I need to do that'.
How can you find deep rest when your mind is running behind acquiring 20 different things? Can you get any comfort in such a state? So for some time, you need to set everything aside. This is what is meant by the term “Sarva-sankalpa Sanyasi”.

'Yada hi nendriyartheshu na karmasv-anusajjate. Sarva-sankalpa-sanyasi yogarudastadochyate' (Bhagavad Gita, 6.4)

When one reaches a stage where he desires nothing for himself, then he becomes a Yogi, a Sanyasi. Such a wise and selfless person becomes useful to everyone around him. Whom do you really call a saint, a prophet, or an apostle? One who does not desire anything for himself, and one who only prays and works for the welfare and wellbeing of everyone else. Often one desires fame, or money, etc. It is desire that destroys a person and makes his vision and perspective in life very narrow and limited. So Lord Krishna says that until and unless a person drops all this (feverishness of desire) and becomes hollow and empty, he does not find peace. Once the mind becomes hollow and empty, one experiences such deep rest, and at the same time such deep joy arises from within. In such a state, one realizes the light of the Divine within and all around. This is what is meant here.

In Bhagavad Gita Lord Krishna says, “Bow to Me, come take my refuge”. Will this not anger or offend the other gods and goddesses?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: 

No, there is nothing like that. It is all one, they are all the same One Divinity. God is addressed in three different ways – that is, in the first person, second person and third person (here meaning by way of language and grammar). When Lord Krishna says “Me”, it is not the individual or the physical body. Here it refers to the One Consciousness, the Divine Light present within. Everything in Creation is pervaded by the light of the Divine.

Draupadi had surrendered herself to Lord Krishna and was very devoted to Him. Then why was her life full of obstacles?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: 

Well, it is when there are obstacles that you understand and appreciate miracles! See, whether you read the Ramayana or the Mahabharata, understand what you can and imbibe that in yourself. Implement the good things you read from these epics in your own life. Think about your own life and how you can improve it. See, there have been many great saints and noble souls in the past ages. It is good to read the epics, and you should learn from these great personalities.

At the same time. we should focus on the present and talk about what is happening now. What is the state of your mind now? Are you happy? Do you wish to take up some Seva projects and serve others? Think along these lines and discuss.

Gurudev, I feel I have never done enough for my parents and this bothers me. How do I deal with this feeling?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: 

When there is deep love, you always tend to feel that you have not done enough. If you ask any mother, “Have you done a lot for your child, or all that you had to?” She will say, “Oh, I don’t think so. I feel I have not done much”.
In love one never thinks “I have done enough”. That only happens when you get very tired and exhausted. When you have this feeling, “I have to do more (for someone)” then that is a sign of love.

During times of teamwork, we often have to take decisions that everyone may not like. What should one do?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: 

Well, that is correct. That is exactly why it is called teamwork. In a team there will be different people with different thoughts, approaches, style of working and varying ideologies. The sign of good teamwork is to integrate them all and take everyone together.

Gurudev, you often speak about Kripa (Grace). Should we all in The Art of Living become certain and confident about the presence of grace in our lives?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: 

Yes, of course! There is no need to worry at all. Just relax and be confident at all times. But at the same time, also be wise and practical. You should not think, “Oh! I have abundance of Grace in my life”, and then put your hand in a burning fire. If you do so then naturally your hands will get burnt.
Being confident (of Grace) does not in any way mean losing awareness and being
impractical. Also, feeling secure and confident should not make you passive and lethargic in life such that you end up doing nothing. You should not become irresponsible. Do your job sincerely and attend to all your duties and responsibilities wholeheartedly. Leave the rest to God with faith.

My wife gets angry. Sometimes I fight back else I run away. How do I develop strength to face her and calm her down?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: 

Sometime back, when I spoke about women empowerment initiatives in society, there are some associations for battered and distressed husbands also who approached me. They wrote a letter to me saying, “Gurudev, you seem to only talk about disadvantaged and distressed women in society. Please give some thought about the poor distressed husbands in society also. We have formed an association of such husbands to address issues”.
I think some of these associations are there in Mumbai and Delhi. Usually these associations are present in bigger cities. There are very less chances of them being in villages and rural areas. I think maybe you should join one of those associations and become a member (Laughter).

Nowadays even young men are wary and cautious about marriage. They think, “Who knows what kind of wife I will have. She could either be like Goddess Lakshmi or even turn out to be wicked like Surpanakha! (a demoness in Ramayana and sister of the evil king Ravana)”. Some people met me in the past and said, “Gurudev, it has only been a few months for our marriage, and now my wife has gone and filed a court case citing demands for dowry or torture, etc.”
The lady had dragged the boy’s parents too to court along with the boy and had them all arrested and put behind bars.

If you go to the jails in Delhi, you will be shocked to see so many elderly ladies behind bars. Some of them are 70 or 80 years old. During one of my visits there I met an old lady and asked her, “Mother, what happened? What did you do that brought you to this jail?” She told me, “Gurudev, what do I say? My own daughter-in-law filed a lawsuit and had me arrested here. I did not do anything to her”. There are many cases where a newlywed daughter-in-law has her in-laws sent off to Lord Krishna’s birth place (here meaning the prison). That is why many young men are distraught and worried seeing such incidents.

Gurudev, could you please speak about the Astral and Causal planes, and your role in these planes.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: 

There are three planes – the physical plane, the astral plane and the causal plane. These are all right here with us. Anything that we see in the material plane first takes place in the subtle planes. That is why people also experience Déjà vu. Do you know what Déjà vu is? It is a feeling that you have been somewhere before or had a certain experience before in the past. You feel “I have been here before” or “I have seen this sometime earlier”. Meditation is the first step to deepening your understanding of these planes.

See, from time to time people criticize and insult you. At other times they also appreciate you and encourage you. It keeps happening in life. So many people criticized and insulted Lord Krishna. He did not have any lesser share of troubles and difficulties in life. In the same way, all the saints and prophets of the world also had to go through pain and many difficulties in life. But the great thing is that they endured all the pain and suffering with an unshakeable smile. They would remain untouched by it from the inside. In the same way, we should also face pleasant and unpleasant times in life.
Now that you are here, just drop all those problems and botherations right here in the Ashram. Do you all know the one rule of the Ashram? The rule is that you have to drop all your problems right here. You are not allowed to take them back with you. Got it?

See, we all are relaxed and sitting here in peace. But it saddens me to see the unfortunate state of violence in Kashmir (referring to the incidents of violence in Uri province). Kashmir is surrounded by so many problems. Many young people and women there are very troubled. We should all pray that peace is restored in Kashmir and that an atmosphere of harmony returns very soon.