Tuesday, December 18, 2018

6 Wise Ways to Deal with Anger

Tuesday, 2. May 2017 Bangalore, India
How to control Anger
If your anger is a tool and it is in your control, then anger is good. But if anger controls you then you are in trouble, and the cause is also gone. There is nothing wrong in using anger as a weapon, but if it is cutting your own peace of mind, then you should use wisdom to safeguard yourself.

Tips to Manage Anger:

Here is some perspective on how to skillfully free your mind from the clutches of anger, and experience a balanced state of mind.

#1 Give room for imperfection

The main cause of anger is that you want perfection. We get angry over imperfections, but the world does have levels of perfection. Give a little space for imperfection. When you give some space for imperfection, patience in you increases.
At home we keep a garbage can, isn't it? You cannot say, 'I won’t keep a garbage can at home'. Then there would be garbage all over the place. Anger is that garbage all over the house. When you give space for imperfection, you will put all the garbage in a can and let it be. Then you will see how you can manage your anger.
So exercise patience towards imperfections. It takes time for imperfection to become perfection. How can you give that time? When you give space for it. Then compassion arises and anger disappears.

#2 Balance between expressing and suppressing your anger

You can’t express anger all the time, you will cause so much damage to yourself and others around you. And you can’t suppress it all the time, sometimes you need to express it otherwise you will explode. So, you have to strike that right balance between expressing and suppressing your anger. Wisdom is knowing when to express it and when to suppress it.

#3 Don’t get angry with yourself for getting angry

It will take quite some time for you to get to that level where anger does not even touch you. It will keep coming in different shades and intensities. When anger comes up, don’t start blaming yourself. One thing that can be very detrimental is you blaming yourself. Keep moving ahead. If you get angry, never mind, just let it come and go. Instead of looking at the cause of anger, look at the effect it is producing in your body and keep relaxing your body.

#4 Keep good company (Sangha)

Whatever you cannot do alone, you can do it with the support of good company. Company has many benefits and a few drawbacks too, as it can also take up a lot of your energy. The positive effect is that Sangha gives you that much needed support to move forward. Whenever your mind goes topsy-turvy, or if your emotions are going up and down, at such times the Sangha will carry you forward. It will help you move through the situations.

#5 Accept people as they are

One of the principles of The Art of Living is: Accept people and situations as they are.Accepting and creating room for others itself makes your personality much wider. If you don’t have that expanded consciousness then you become very rigid in your outlook.
People who irritate you, in some way or the other can bring about the best in you. They can bring out the talents and skills in you. See, when everyone around you is wonderful you don’t need any skill to handle a situation. It will only happen when there are people whom you think are unreasonable. So, take it as an exercise as much as possible. The moment deep acceptance starts coming from within, you will suddenly find the other person also changes. It is strange, but true. When we change, they also change.

#6 Practice meditation

Meditation will definitely provide you that much needed strength to overcome anger. Practice more pranayama and go deeper into meditation. You will feel the serenity and the change in you after meditation. Meditation brings transformation in you. Remember, any meditation that you do never goes waste.

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

How to Overcome Feelings of Hurt

uesday, 28. March 2017 Bangalore, India
If you have wisdom, you don’t have to go through pain to learn. We go through pain because we lack wisdom. But remember that you will come out of pain or hurt at some time or the other.
It is important for one to have a larger context to life. When you have a larger context, then trivial things don’t really bother you. They are like waves on the surface of the ocean – they rise and fall. So, if you are in pain, or have been hurt, here are the four ways of looking at the situation that will ease your pain!

#1 The one who has hurt you is pained

Many a times, people cause hurt to others because they have scars, and they are unhappy and miserable. They can only share what they have. They are hurt and they are sharing the hurt with you. You might think that these people are hurting you purposely, but in fact it is because they do not have happiness inside them, they don’t have joy or peace. They have pain inside them, which is why they are causing you hurt.
So, what should the wounded party do? Compassion. You have to be compassionate to those who hurt you, because they are wounded themselves.

#2 The one causing you hurt is just ignorant

There are people who hurt others out of sheer ignorance. They are not sensitive and they are not aware that their actions are hurting others. They don’t know themselves and they don’t know what they are doing. They are ignorant and arrogant. You can only feel sorry for them and hope that someday they will become sensitive and intelligent.

#3 You’re hurting because It is just karma

You had to get this hurt, and if not this person, then someone else would have given it to you. You must have caused some hurt to someone in the past, so nature is bringing it back to you now. When you know that it's just the karma being repaid, you feel very settled.

#4 It is being done to make you strong

 
Nature is bringing this pain to you so that you become strong, so that you discover the strength and power within you. Usually, when a pole is being installed, after the installation, they shake the pole to check whether it is rooted well enough or not. Hurt is just that, to see whether you are well established in yourself, whether you are in wisdom or not. Every hurt is trying to shake you, to see whether you are strong or not. It tests your strength. It is to make you stronger.
If you think a wise person or someone intelligent is hurting you, then you should be thankful because there is some purpose in that. They want you to be strong.
If your mother is scolding you, she is not doing it with bad intentions. If your father is scolding you, you can’t say, “Oh my father hurt me! My mother hurt me!”
Your parents are not hurting you – they are coming from a space of care and concern for you. We must recognize that they are doing things out of their limited understanding and love for you.
There are two major things that you feel when you are hurt – lack of communication and lack of understanding. Another reason to feel hurt, if you want to count it, is being oversensitive to irrelevant or ephemeral things. Events are all ephemeral – they are all moving and impermanent. Everything is changing. You don’t need to become oversensitive, “Oh he said this thing to me, she said this thing to me!”
Now, if someone is trying to physically hurt you, you just be careful and equip yourself. I am not saying if someone comes to hurt you, you fall at their feet. No, you be intelligent and protect yourself.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

How to Reduce the Wavering of the Mind

Friday, 23. March 2018 Bangalore, India
The nature of the mind is to waver, similar to how the nature of water is to flow. Now how do you reduce this wavering nature of the mind? It is through spiritual practices (abhyaasa) and dispassion (vairagya).

What is Dispassion?

Sometimes, when you are disturbed, you say, “I don’t want anything. Enough is enough!”
This is one kind of dispassion, which you experience when you are disturbed. It is called Smashana (cemetery) Vairagya.
The second kind of dispassion is when you say with awareness, “I don’t want anything. I have had enough (contentment)! Everything in the world changes; nothing is permanent. I don’t mind if I have or don’t have something.”
This is the second type of dispassion, and is called Gyana (knowledge) Vairagya.
We need to have Gyana Vairagya and not Smashana Vairagya. The mind always moves towards pleasure. If we have knowledge and dispassion, then all the pleasures will come to us. It is also said that the pleasure that comes out of Abhyaasa (spiritual practice) is the highest.
Everyone has to experience at least one of the two types of dispassion. So it is better to say, “I have had enough,” out of awareness and contentment. That is the higher kind of dispassion!

Is Dispassion a Happening?

Dispassion is not a happening; I would say dispassion is what you invoke in yourself. When you widen your awareness, when you see everything is going to disappear and death is imminent, we are all going to die and everything is changing – when this knowledge comes, then dispassion is spontaneous.
Dispassion is the only way to make the mind stop chattering. Just realize that everything is a dream. It will all soon come to an end. The chattering of the mind is always with regard to a subject, a topic, or with a want. Worries and wants are responsible for the chattering of the mind. Drop your worries and your wants – that is what is called vairagya.

Dispassion and Contentment

Just be contented in your mind. You must keep evaluating yourself from time to time. Ask yourself, is what I am doing benefitting others? Even if something brings pain in the short run, but is beneficial to everyone in the long run, then that is the right thing to do. This is the test.
Before doing any work, you must ask yourself, “Am I only focusing on the small things or am I thinking from a larger perspective?” This is essential.

6 Ways to Make Your Relationships Stronger

Tuesday, 21. March 2017 Bangalore, India

Ways to have Healthy Relationships

The Key To Make Perfect Relationships

If you know how to row a boat, you can row any boat. But if you don’t know how to row, changing boats isn’t going to help. Similarly, changing a relationship does not necessarily solve the issue. Sooner or later, you will be in the same situation in any other relationship, because in all relationships, what is most important is your understanding of your own emotions, your own mind, your own ability to be stable, and your own ability to see things from a broader perspective. And for this, wisdom is important, because it is wisdom that gives you strength, stability and a broader perspective in life.
Most of the time, we look elsewhere for a perfect healthy relationships; very few look within themselves, at the place from where they relate. To have a good relationship, you first need to see how you related with yourself. You need to look inside.
Here are some secrets on how to have a healthy relationship and to head in right direction.

#1 Let Go of Control

Many have a problem of letting go of control. This results in anxiety and restlessness, and it sours relationships.
Wake up and see, are you really in control? What are you in control of? Perhaps a tiny part of your waking state!
  • You are not in control when you are sleeping or dreaming.
  • You are not in control of thoughts and emotions coming to you.
Similarly, do you think you are in control of all the events in your life or in the world? When you look at things from this angle you need not be afraid of losing control because you have none!

#2 Have a Sense of Reverence

Whatever you revere becomes bigger than you. When you have reverence in your relationships, then your own consciousness expands. Then even small things appear to be significant and big. Every little creature appears to be dignified. It is the reverence in every relationship that saves the relationship.
Often you do not have reverence for that which you own, and losing that reverence happens unconsciously. Reverence in ownership frees you from greed, jealousy and lust. Cultivate the skill of having reverence every moment in your life.

#3 Have Common Goals

When two lines move parallel with each other, they can go on together forever. But when the two lines are focused on each other, then they cross and go away from each other. The same is true with relationships. When both partners have a common goal in life, that makes their relationship last longer and brings more harmony. But when they are focused on each other, then they pick on each other; they love and hate, and all the fights happen.

#4 Annihilate Conflict

When you are in a harmonious environment, your mind picks up any excuse to be in conflict. Often small things are enough to create a big turmoil. Have you noticed this?
When your survival is at stake, you don't complain that nobody loves you. But when you are safe and secure, you start demanding attention. Many people create conflict in order to get attention. So ask yourself this question: Do you seek harmony in every situation, or do you seek to widen the differences and prove your righteousness?

#5 Know That You Have More Love Than You Deserve

You should always feel that you are not worthy of the love that you receive. Think that the love you receive is much more than what you deserve. If you come from this space of humility, then you will behave with magnanimity and dignity in all your dealings. You won’t chew on the past, you will live in the present moment, you will honor the other’s opinions, you will understand the other’s predicaments; that magnanimity will come from within.
If you keep this in mind, that I don’t deserve this love, you will not demand love. And when you don’t demand love in your life, it keeps on increasing.

#6 Leave Some Room for The Other to Give

Relationship means adjustment, it is giving. But at the same time, leave some room for the other partner to give. This needs a little skill - to make the other also contribute without demanding. If you demand, the relationship is not going to last long. Demand and blame destroy love.

Monday, December 3, 2018

Surya Namaskar – A complete guide for the perfect yoga workout

Surya Namaskar:

Surya Namaskar or Sun Salutation is a sequence of 12 powerful yoga poses. Besides being a great cardiovascular workout, Surya Namaskar is also known to have an immensely positive impact on the body and mind.
Surya Namaskar is best done early morning on an empty stomach. Each round of Sun Salutation consists of two sets, and each set is composed of 12 yoga poses. You might find several versions on how to practice Sun Salutation. However, it is advisable to stick to one particular version and practice it regularly for best results.
Besides good health, Surya Namaskar also provides an opportunity to express gratitude to the sun for sustaining life on this planet. So, for the next 10 days, start your day with a feeling of grace and gratitude towards the sun. Do 12 rounds of Sun Salutation, followed by other yoga poses, and then relax with a round of Yoga Nidra. You will be amazed to find that this simple mantra will help you stay fit, happy, and peaceful throughout the day.

Incredible Benefits of Sun Salutation :

  • helps maintain cardiovascular health
  • stimulates the nervous system
  • helps in stretching, flexing and toning the muscles
  • excellent exercise for weight loss management
  • helps in relaxation of the mind
  • strengthens the immune system
  • positive impact on body

How to do Surya Namaskar:
 

1. Pranamasana (Prayer pose)

Pranamasana

Stand at the edge of your mat, keep your feet together and balance your weight equally on both the feet.
Expand your chest and relax your shoulders.
As you breathe in, lift both arms up from the sides, and as you exhale, bring your palms together in front of the chest in prayer position.
 

2. Hastauttanasana (Raised arms pose)

Hastauttanasana

Breathing in, lift the arms up and back, keeping the biceps close to the ears. In this pose, the effort is to stretch the whole body up from the heels to the tips of the fingers.
How to deepen this yoga stretch?
You may push the pelvis forward a little bit. Ensure you're reaching up with the fingers rather than trying to bend backward.
 

3. Hastapadasana (Standing forward bend)

Hastapadasana
Breathing out, bend forward from the waist, keeping the spine erect. As you exhale completely, bring the hands down to the floor beside the feet.
How to deepen this yoga stretch?
You may bend the knees, if necessary, to bring the palms down to the floor. Now make a gentle effort to straighten the knees. It's a good idea to keep the hands fixed in this position and not move them henceforth until we finish the sequence.
 

4. Ashwa Sanchalanasana (Equestrian pose)

Ashwa Sanchalanasana
Breathing in, push your right leg back, as far back as possible. Bring the right knee to the floor and look up.
How to deepen this yoga stretch?
Ensure that the left foot is exactly in between the palms.
 

5. Dandasana (Stick pose)

Dandasana
As you breathe in, take the left leg back and bring the whole body in a straight line.
How to deepen this yoga stretch?
Keep your arms perpendicular to the floor.
 

6. Ashtanga Namaskara (Salute with eight parts or points)

Ashtanga Namaskara
Gently bring your knees down to the floor and exhale. Take the hips back slightly, slide forward, rest your chest and chin on the floor. Raise your posterior a little bit.
The two hands, two feet, two knees, chest and chin (eight parts of the body) should touch the floor.
 

7. Bhujangasana (Cobra pose)

Bhujangasana
Slide forward and raise the chest up into the Cobra pose. You may keep your elbows bent in this pose with the shoulders away from the ears. Look up at the ceiling.
How to deepen this yoga stretch?
As you inhale, make a gentle effort to push the chest forward; as you exhale, make a gentle effort to push the navel down. Tuck the toes under. Ensure you're stretching just as much as you can and not forcing your body.
 

8. Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downward facing dog pose)

Adho Mukha Svanasana
Breathing out, lift the hips and the tailbone up to bring the body into an inverted ‘V’ pose.
How to deepen this yoga stretch?
If possible, try and keep the heels on the ground and make a gentle effort to lift the tailbone up, going deeper into the stretch.
 

9. Ashwa Sanchalanasana (Equestrian pose)

Ashwa Sanchalanasana
Breathing in, bring the right foot forward in between the two hands. The left knee goes down on the floor. Press the hips down and look up.
How to deepen this yoga stretch?
Place the right foot exactly between the two hands and the right calf perpendicular to the floor. In this position, make a gentle effort to push the hips down towards the floor, to deepen the stretch.
 

10. Hastapadasana (Standing forward bend)

Hastapadasana
Breathing out, bring the left foot forward. Keep the palms on the floor. You may bend the knees, if necessary.
How to deepen this yoga stretch?
Gently straighten the knees, and if you can, try and touch your nose to the knees. Keep breathing.
 

11. Hastauttanasana (Raised arms pose)

Hastauttanasana
Breathing in, roll the spine up. Raise the hands up and bend backward a little bit, pushing the hips slightly outward.
How to deepen this yoga stretch?
Ensure that your biceps are beside your ears. The idea is to stretch up more rather than stretching backward.
 

12. Tadasana (Mountain pose)

Tadasana
As you exhale, first straighten the body, then bring the arms down. Relax in this position and observe the sensations in your body.
 This completes one set of Surya Namaskar. Complete the round by repeating the steps. Only this time, start with taking the left foot behind in step number 4 and bringing the right foot forward in step number 10. Once done, you would’ve completed one round of Surya Namaskar.